On the doorstep

Tomorrow, I will make the two-hour pilgrimmage to catch some good baseball.

But, alas, I will also be there wishing something else happens. As I've noted before, I wish Barry Bonds trips on one of the clubhouse steps, tears his ACL to shreds and is unable to take an at bat.

With that thinking firmly being flushed out, I think it's only a matter of time before one of the question marks puts a solid period on the all-time home run chase.

Bonds acted like a pompous ass when he whined that commissioner Bud Selig should be there to witness history -- with our without the asterisk. Bonds quickly excused Hank Aaron though, citing that the home run hero had plenty of other things to do.

Bonds just doesn't get it. Aaron doesn't want to follow your coat tails because all you care about is a circus. You covet the headlines then cry when they become a burden.

Well, Barry, you made your bed this time. Either knowingly or unknowingly, the next three home runs are going to be the toughest of your life. Not just because pitchers don't want to be the boob that gets their name plastered in record book infamy, but because the media horde will begin to swallow you.

If you thought Pedro Gomez was bad before, now he's going to hitch in your trunk on your commute home.

And trust us Barry. It's not because we want to write another flowery piece on you that details what a nice person you are. It's because we want to figure out just whom the real Barry Bonds, the one that lies beneath all that real or artificial muscle. We want to know your trainer still refuses to talk while he rots in a prison because he had a hand in the BALCO saga.

You'll break the record Barry. But it will be even more triumphant for baseball when everyone knows the truth.

A hearty congrats

When I first saw it on my work e-mail, I thought it was a typo. However, after reading a few grafs, I found out that my work buddy at Reid Golf Course had just carded a seven-under 64 in the opening round of the Fox Cities golf tournament.

I think that's pretty cool. Especially for a kid that wants to desperately make the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay golf team. He's been tearing it up this summer, but oddly enough, last week at the state amateur, he quadruple bogeyed the final hole to keep him pretty silent at work.

It's nice to see he's made a nice recovery.

What else is new

Well, we're at the 2007 All-Star break. That means plenty of stars for fans to ogle at, and more sound bites of Barry Bonds.

Major league baseball's most hated son went off on a rant during the home run derby, saying that commissioner Bud Selig should attend his game when he breaks Hank Aaron's home run record. For the first time in a long time, Bonds was very animated, which means he must be weaning himself slowly off the juice.

I agree that Bonds doesn't owe anyone anything. However, on the same token MLB doesn't owe the ageless slugger anything as well. He is breaking unarguably one of sports most hallowed records while taking illicit drugs. Bonds can quickly claim that he unknowingly let those substances let his head balloon to the size of a pumpkin, but that's all in the past.

Just because I unknowingly didn't stop for the stop sign doesn't make the offense any less. It still happened. And if you are completely honest about not knowing what you took or injested, maybe your $15.8 million salary this season can scrounge up enough money for someone that can tell you what to take.

Bonds is a joke. He's the most self-centered, egotistical sports player I've ever known. The Giants can't stand the guy so much, they are hoping that he breaks this stupid record soon enough so that they can ship him out before the trading deadline at the end of the month.

Dan, say it ain't so

Dan Patrick made it official yesterday when he said he would be leaving "The Worldwide Leader" to pursue other interests. He made the comments live during his radio show.

In fact, when his regular guest Reggie Miller came on, Miller was stunned. He kept asking Daniel what he would do next, but Patrick remained mum on the subject, but he did say he was not going to follow in Bob Parker's footsteps at "The Price is Right".

This news is devastating to ESPN. He's the only voice left at the network that is actually worth listenting to. Patrick singlehandedly turned "SportsCenter" into a trendy culture. He's responsible for getting wives and girlfriends interested in sports because frankly that's what they had to watch while their significant other was glued to the Cathod Ray Tube.

I still remember eating my Cheerios and watching Patrick and Keith Olbermann on "SportsCenter". It got so funny a few times that I nearly choked on soggy Cheerios, when you think of it, is pretty hard to do.

Unfortunately, I hardly watch the network now. They don't show box scores and now they're just pumping nothing by fluff into their telecasts, especially with their, "Who's Now?" series. Honestly, do you have to waste this much time debating something that has no bearing on anything?

Patrick's last day is Aug. 17 and mark my words, ESPN will forever be remembered for "The Whiff" on not being able to keep their top guy.