Giants pay high to go low

Barry Bonds has been treated like a plate of leftovers -- and for good reason -- but luckily for him, the San Francisco Giants were right there to reheat the beleaguered star once again.

No other teams were even offering anything to the brut. Bonds didn't have any bargaining power whatsoever so the Giants in turn bowed to the thought of spinning turnstiles and ringining cash registers as he pursues baseball's most hallowed record.

The Incredible Hulk only has 22 homers before he breaks Hank Aaron's mark, but with the laundry list of elbow, knee and other ailments have caused the 42-year-old to resemble a frail Florida-bound retiree.

I thought Bud Selig and his henchmen were plotting to extrapilate the steroid problem from baseball. Don't look now Bud, but the steroid problem just got paid. There is no other reason for Bonds to come back. He's still jealous that Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa had more press during their home run romps of 70 and 66 bombs in 1998 than his 73 homers in 2001.

The Giants and Bonds are the root of the problem. No other team wanted to take a chance on Willie Mays' godson because he's a flat-out bad teammate. San Francisco was the only place that offered Mr. Bonds his own half of the clubhouse along with a personal masseuse and other ammenities.

And then there's that steroids thing. What team wants to be hounded all year as he gets closer and closer to the record? Teammates would probably start to bristle after the first week of drills in spring training.

At least the signing proves to be comical. Now that he's still in the National League, Bonds has to play the field. Which means, there'll be plenty of loafing with arms at the hips and when he is forced to make a play, he more often than not will pull up lame with his tried and true pulled hamstring.

The Giants needed Bonds as much as Bonds needed them. They're just hoping Bonds can break the record in their uniform before he's donned with federally-tailored pinstripes.